The Alchemist's Guide to Relationships Part 1:Lust
by lil' Miss B
Summary: Ed meets up with an old friend and develops a physical relationship that could lead to more, if other factors don't get in the way first. Join Edward Elric as he attempts to navigate the winding roads of adult relationships, with mixed results.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is an older piece that I had over at my livejournal. (And is it any wonder! I'd forgotten how much it sucks uploading to ! It screws with all more formating and deletes vital punctuation like quotation marks and apostrophes.) I wrote it a long time ago when mature stories were banned from . Now they seem to realize what a losing battle that was and there seems to be more generous leway given. Anyway, I feel a little more comfortable posting this here now. I'll put up the whole story because there would be no reason not to. See last chapter for a longer Author's note and information about the continuation of this fic.**

**Disclaimer: FMA does not belong to me and I make no profit from any of these tales. Any further archiving of my fiction is strictly prohibited unless cleared by me This is a standard disclaimer and applies for all further chapters.**

Title: The Alchemists Guide to Relationships Part One: Lust

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Join Edward Elric as he attempts to navigate the winding roads of adult relationships, with mixed results.

Notes: M/F, romance, drama, angst. AU and slight OOC (since it takes place three years after the series ended, we have to assume that Ed's changed a bit.) Spoilers up to episode 48. Ed-centric.

Part One Summary: Ed meets up with an old friend and develops a physical relationship that could eventually lead to more, that is, if other factors don't get in the way first.

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**The Alchemist's Guide to Relationships: Lust**

**Chapter 1**

**Solitude**

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Continental Calendar 1918

_'If I never see another cow again, it'll be too soon.'_

Walking down the Spartan like halls of Central Headquarters, Edward tiredly rubbed the port of his auto-mail shoulder. Outside, the night had settled peacefully after a particularly hard winter storm. His auto-mail conducted the cold straight through to his bones, causing the muscles around each to cramp up. Rubbing the sore muscles, he winced as the ports pinched into his skin, a little reminder that he should never trust anyone but Winry with his tune-ups. The mechanic in Paro had been less than spectacular and had tightened a few screws way too tight. If Winry ever found out that he'd let someone else touch her work, emergency be damned, she'd kill him.

Coming to the exit, he pulled his coat tighter around his body and took the icy steps one at a time.

"Hey, Ed!"

Ed had been intent on not falling on his ass and had completely missed the military vehicle parked at the bottom of the steps. In the dim glow of the building's interior lights, he could just make out a figure standing by the car, lit cigarette in mouth and waving him over. Throwing caution to the wind, Ed stomped down the last few steps and approached the car.

"I heard you were back," Havoc greeted him.

"Yeah," Ed stuffed his hands in his pockets, "I just got in a couple hours ago."

"So what are you doing here?"

Ed shrugged, "I figured that there was a chance that the Brigadier General would still be here. That way I could give him my report tonight so I wouldn't have to come in tomorrow."

"Well, I guess tonight was your lucky night, huh?"

"I guess." Truthfully, Ed didn't think that getting the chance to talk to Mustang counted as being lucky, All the smug bastard did was tell Ed everything he was going to say before he got a chance to say it. That is when he wasn't commenting on Edward's growth spurt, which should have been a compliment except for the condescending way he called him a late bloomer.

"Do you want a ride home?" Havoc offered.

"Sure." It was the most enthused he'd been in weeks.

"Okay, we'll go as soon as Fuery comes out."

As if on cue, Ed watched as the man in question trudged out of the building. "What did she say?" Havoc called out to him.

As Fuery got closer, Ed saw the dejected look on his face, "She said 'no'."

Havoc clapped the man on the back good naturedly and opened the front passenger door for him, "I'm sorry," As soon as Fuery was seated; Havoc slammed the door and ran around the front of the car to the driver's side. Ed opened the back door and climbed into the only mildly warmer car. "How about I buy you a beer?"

"That sounds nice," Fuery timidly replied. "What about you, Major? Do you want to come?"

Ed shifted in his seat. Of all of Mustang's subordinates, Fuery was the only one that stuck to formalities off duty. He wished he would just relax a little. He had so many names, why couldn't he just address him as Fullmetal, or Ed, or Edward, or even Elric. Anything was better than that title.

"Not this time. I think I want to just go home."

"Oh come on," Havoc prodded, "It'll be fun. Maybe you'll even pick up a girl."

Ed sighed. Ever since his eighteenth birthday, _everyone_ had been trying to set him up with a girl. "Sorry, but I'm not interested in the kind of girl that you could find in a bar."

"But those are the best kind."

"Just leave him alone," Fuery butted in, "He's been gone for a long time."

Havoc conceded and the rest of the short ride to Ed's apartment was spent talking about the month long mission to Paro, a middle-sized farming town in the west. There were rumors of someone attempting to create chimeras and Ed had spent a month tracking down and autopsying what had turned out to be a mutated cow fetus. Mustang had nearly killed himself laughing during that part of the report, and Ed had to wonder if he had known it all along and the whole mission had been driven purely by revenge. For what, he had no idea.

Getting out of the car at his building, he thanked the other officers and bid them farewell. His apartment was on the third floor and as he made his way to the elevator he greeted the tired looking doorman at the front desk.

The building was notorious for housing military officers; in fact, Captain Hawkeye lived one floor up. Given that reputation, one would expect the rooms to be small and barrack like. This was not entirely false. The apartments were basic. Most had two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a living area. It wasn't much, but it was all he needed.

Opening the door, he shivered as the cold air escaped into the tepid hallways. Setting his suitcase by the door, he walked over and adjusted the thermostat. Pulling a throw off the back of his couch, Ed wrapped it tightly around himself and made his way to the kitchen.

On the counter, he spotted a neat pile of mail, a handwritten note laid out next to it:

_Edward_,

_I'm glad that you made it home safely. Here is all you mail from the past month. I paid all the bills with the money you left, so you don't have to worry about it. Come by and see me tomorrow. _

_Love,_

_Gracia_

_P.S. I made you up a plate of dinner and left it in the oven. Enjoy._

Ed smiled at the note and opened the oven. Sure enough, inside was a foil-covered plate. Pulling back the covering, Ed smiled at Gracia's thoughtfulness and set the oven to re-warm it.

While waiting for his food to heat, he grabbed the large pile of mail and sat down at the table to sort through it. Most of it was junk which he promptly threw away. All that remained after were a couple letters, a late birthday card from Sensei, and three thick, letter-sized envelopes. He knew for sure that one was research notes that the Tringham brothers had asked him to look over. Looking at the postmark, he felt a stab of guilt run through him on how long it had been left unattended.

Setting the card to the side, he opened one of the letters. It was from Winry. He had talked to her over the phone during his mission. She knew he wasn't home, so why was she sending him a letter?

Unfolding the paper, he caught a picture as it fell out. It was of the last trip he had taken to Resembool right before the mission to Paro. He sat at the Rockbell kitchen table, surrounded by the people he'd come to call family. Winry stood by his side, proudly displaying the cake she made. It had "Happy 19th Birthday, Ed!" written in icing on the top. Rose sat at the side, holding her son in her arms. The three year old was caught in the middle of trying to stick his little fingers in the cake. The look on Rose's face was priceless. On the other side of the table, Pinako posed proudly, pipe in hand and a big grin on her face. But it was the last person in the picture that brought a smile to Ed's face. Pulling up a chair next to him, Al had thrown an arm around his older brother, and had smiled big for the picture. Ed stared at the thirteen-year old face, hoping to make it back to Resembool again soon. It had only been a month, but in the cold empty apartment, it seemed a lot longer.

Ed scanned the letter. It was nothing that Winry hadn't said to him before. _"Al's fine….We're fine. We miss you…come home soon."_

Tossing it to the side, Ed scooped up the one from his Sensei and opened the letter. Izumi had been insistent that they do a better job of keeping in touch and he received a letter or phone call from her at least once a month. He read up on Sig and Mason and what they had been doing. Obediently he read her reports on how the business was doing, even though he didn't really care. She asked him how his research was going and if he needed any help and like all of her letters she ended by telling him to take care and come see her soon.

By the time he was done, his dinner had heated thoroughly and he ate it in silence. After a quick shower, he pulled his long hair back and slipped into bed. Pilling on as many blankets as he could, he tried to get some sleep despite the cold.

**

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**Notes on Chapter 1:**

Well that's the first chapter. Seems lonely doesn't it? I hope so 'cause that's what I was going for. But don't worry, Ed's going to have some company soon enough.

I figured that Ed's birthday was sometime in the winter, at least it was in the 6th episode, so this fic takes place a month after his nineteenth birthday. I can't give a date 'cause I'm not sure, but it's probably still winter.

When I thought about Ed's auto-mail and how it behaved, I realized that it must get pretty cold, so that's going to be something that is touched on more than once. Yes, I know I'm not the first to realize this, but that's because it's just common sense.

B on Ed: I think one of my favorite parts of FMA was how you watched Ed grow up. It was so natural that you hardly even noticed until after the battle with Sloth, and, even then, Izumi noticed. I always thought that without Al constantly around, Ed would retreat into himself, as is the case in my story. Obviously, Al's not completely gone, I tried to make that clear.

Coming Up:

Ed's first day back. Who will he run into?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: FMA does not belong to me and I make no profit from any of these tales. Any further archiving of my fiction is strictly prohibited unless cleared by me This is a standard disclaimer and applies for all further chapters.**

**In other news: I absolutly loathe Document Manager. It won't let me upload my .doc files so I download and install their recommended word processor and it still won't let me upload it so I have to convert all the chapters into HTML which messes up certain HTML tags I have built in and also adds in about a million spaces between words so I have to go back and re-edit something that has already been edited! Get your crap together ! (here endith the rant.)**

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**The Alchemist's Guide to Relationships: Lust**

**Chapter 2**

**It Had to Be You**

The blinding morning sun woke him from a dead sleep. Cursing as he rolled away from the window, he remembered that in his exhaustion, he had forgotten to close the blinds. The cool air caused goose bumps to form and he looked down to see that in the night he had kicked off most of his blankets.

Tiredly, he reached down and pulled the mass up over his shoulders and debated on whether he should sleep some more or just get up. Technically, he was on a short leave. It was general protocol to take at least a week off after a mission as long as his last one. He had given his report last night so really he had no reason to go into the base for at least a week. Still there were other things to do, and he could tell that he wasn't going to get any more sleep with the way his muscles were aching.

Rolling back over, he clumsily fell out of bed. Grabbing a screwdriver from the toolbox in his closet, he sat down on the couch and decided to do something about his auto-mail. He wasn't a mechanic, but living with auto-mail as long as he had, he managed to pick up a few of the basics. At least he could loosen the screws that were bothering him and stop the pinching.

Propping his left leg up on the coffee table, he found the screw that was causing all the trouble. It was one of the ones on the side that connected the port to the bone.

'Great. This is going to hurt.'

Preparing himself, he twisted the screw to the left a quarter of a turn. Biting his tongue as the pain shot up his leg, he slowly let out a breath through his nose. It receded quickly and he moved on to his shoulder, repeating the process.

Afterwards, he slumped back into the sofa. The pinching had stopped but his shoulder and leg throbbed. He sat like that for a few seconds more before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

Filling the pedestal tub with warm water, he stripped off his boxers and stepped in, right leg first. Keeping his left propped up, he carefully lowered his body into the hot bath, careful to submerge as little of his auto-mail as possible. Going through his normal routine, made easier through the years, he washed his long hair, face, and body. Afterwards, he relaxed, letting the hot water sooth his aching muscles.

When he noticed his hand becoming pruned, he pulled the plug and stepped out. Drying himself off and wrapping a towel around his waist, he headed back to the bedroom to find something to wear. Settling on a red sweater that Pinako had given him for his birthday over a white button up shirt and his normal black pants, he braided his still wet hair and made his way to the kitchen to find breakfast.

Forgetting that he had gotten rid of all his perishable goods before he left, he open the refrigerator to see that all he had was a bottle of ketchup, mustard, two packs of raisins, and half a stick of butter next to a box of baking soda. With a sigh, he closed the door. He'd have to go shopping.

***

Sawyer's corner was a small grocery store located just a few blocks from his apartment building and was the only place he shopped. It was owned by a nice elderly couple who knew who he was and were always nice to him. Plus he ran little risk of bumping into anyone he knew.

Turning the corner of an aisle, he checked the contents of his basket, making sure he wasn't forgetting anything. Looking up just in time, he still managed to smash head on into another customer, sending them both to the floor.

Not looking up, he quickly gathered the contents of the other person's basket and put them back in. "Hey! I'm sorry. Are you all ri…" The words died on his tongue as he finally registered who he had run into. Blond hair pulled back into a twist and amused green eyes staring at the shocked look on his face. He almost didn't recognizer her out of costume.

"Clara?"

Standing up, the woman in question just smiled, "Well, well, if it isn't Edward Elric. I always knew we'd meet again, I just didn't think it would be in the frozen foods section."

"Please don't tell me you want to fight." Still on his knees, he surveyed the weapons he had at his disposal. If need be, he could always transmute the bag of frozen peas into a rope.

Clara just laughed, "Of course not."

"Oh," feeling silly, Ed stood and handed her the basket she had dropped.

"My, you've grown." She observed and Ed noticed too that he was standing at eye level with her.

"Yeah, I guess so." He stated proudly.

"I knew you would." She smiled at him and he smiled back at her.

Embarrassed, Ed scratched the back of his head. The feeling passed quickly, however, once he realized that he was standing next to the notorious Thief Psiren of Aquroya, "What are you doing here?"

"Shopping. What else? A girl's gotta eat." Clara smiled at him and Ed knew that she had purposely misunderstood the question.

"That's not what I meant. What are you doing in Central?" At the accusing tone of his voice, Clara's face fell. Ed momentarily felt a stab of guilt but shrugged it off, remembering that she was good at playing people. Besides, she was a criminal; he had every right to be suspicious.

"I live here. It's been nearly six months now."

"Time well spent scoping out your next mark?" Really it was more of a statement than a question.

"No! Honestly, I've left all that behind me." Clara shook her head dramatically and clutched a hand to her bosom. Ed resisted rolling his eyes at her theatrics, "I just want to live a normal life. Besides, when was the last time you heard anything in the papers about Psiren?"

Dropping his guard, Ed realized she was right. The last time he had heard anything about her was when Mustang told him she escaped custody three or four years ago. "So, you expect me to believe that you've completely reformed?"

Wiping a phony tear from the corner of her eye, Clara seemed to collect herself, "Well, I wouldn't say completely." She smiled slyly at him, "But, yes, I'm not a thief anymore. If that's what you're worried about."

"You're still a fugitive." Ed clenched his fists. Around the two, the store's few customers went about their own business, unaware of the standoff taking place in aisle five.

"Yes." Clara stared him down, and Ed watched her hands carefully to make sure she didn't expose the transmutation circle on her chest and attack. "Are you going to turn me in?"

The two continued to stare at one another as Ed came to a decision. He tried to think of Al and what he would do. Maybe she really had turned over a new leaf.

"No." He surrendered with a sigh. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he tried to appear aloof, "Besides, it's a police matter. Capturing you would only mean more paperwork for me, and I'm on vacation."

"Thank you. I always knew you'd be a great man someday."

Silence reached out and took hold as he ignored her last comment. "I better go. I'm meeting someone soon so…"

"A date?" she asked cheerily.

"No, just a friend." He quickly corrected her, shocked at the quick change of atmosphere.

"That's good."

"Huh?" He blinked, confused.

"I'd hate to invite you out to coffee only to learn that you had a girlfriend."

"Huh?!" his eyebrows rose in shock. Again she smiled at him, coyly, and he felt his checks burn with embarrassment. Damn, he had forgotten how she could make him blush.

"Then it's settled. Meet me tonight. Say about eight o'clock at the Java Inn on the corner of Thirty-first and Chaley Street. Ta ta!"

She blew him a kiss and walked away, leaving him dumbstruck in the middle of the aisle, groceries still spilled on the floor around his feet. "Huh."

***

As was his tradition after a mission, Ed arrived at the Hughes house at precisely one o'clock in the afternoon. Almost immediately after entering the house, Edward found himself wrapped in Gracia's arms.

"Edward. I'm glad your back."

Ed hugged her back limply. Over the years he had grown used to Gracia's motherly affection, but it still made him a little uncomfortable when she hugged him.

"It's good to see you too."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she pulled back and held him at arms length, "Come in out of the cold."

Stepping aside, she guided him further into the room, pulling the door closed behind him. Hearing his mother's voice in his head, he wiped his feet on the rug before wandering in. Sitting on a bench in the hallway, he removed his wet boots. The heat from the fireplace in the living room warmed his toes and made the tip of his nose tingle pleasantly. When he stood, Gracia took his long black jacket and hung it on the coat rack.

"Are you hungry?"

His stomach growled at the though of food, remembering the lousy cup of coffee that had passed for breakfast. "Starving."

"Good, I'll make us some lunch." With that she wandered into kitchen. "I hope you are planning on staying longer this time." Ed wandered down the hall, eyeing the photographs that hung on the walls. Most of them were taken after Maes's death and they all had an air of bittersweet happiness about them. In every one the mother and daughter posed happily for birthdays and Elysia's first day of school. It was almost easy to pretend that Maes was the one behind the camera.

"Well, I have the week off, and if Mustang doesn't have any mission's for me, I was planning on taking a trip out east."

"Are you going back to Resembool?" Gracia appeared in the hallway, apron wrapped around her waist and a butter knife in hand.

"Yeah, for a little while at least. I also was hoping that Al and I could take a trip out to Ishbal. It's been a while, and I know he's been worried."

Gracia smile warmed him all over, "What?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking about how proud I was of you two."

Embarrassed, he stuck his hands in his pockets and Gracia went back in the kitchen. He followed and leaned against the doorframe to watch her cook. It was something he had always done with his mother. Watching her cook had always been soothing. She always hummed as she peeled and stirred. She never needed to use a recipe; she always seemed to know what would taste good. Sometimes, she allowed him to help, until he got impatient and ended up eating most of the ingredients before they could cook and she had to chase him out of the kitchen.

Gracia was a lot like that. She didn't hum, and he had long outgrown the habit of eating raw potatoes, but still, it was soothing. Crossing his real leg over the machine one, he decided to enlist Gracia's help on a matter that had been bothering him ever since he ran into Clara.

"Gracia. Have you heard any news about any new art exhibits coming to town?"

"No, not that I can think of. Why do you ask?"

'Oh no reason. I just ran into this thief I used to know and was wondering if she was planning on stealing anything.' Ed uncrossed his legs and pulled away from the door frame. "I just through it would be nice if I could take Elysia."

"That's very sweet of you, Ed. I have the paper in the living room if you want to see for yourself."

***

Three hours and two and a half hot roast beef sandwiches later, Ed had combed the Central City Times from front to back and found no notices from Psiren nor were there any references to anything of significant value arriving in town. Throwing the paper to the side, he sat up from the couch he had been resting on, legs crossed out on the coffee table in front of him. Uncrossing his legs, he leaned forward and held his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. He'd even gone as far as to check for any encoded messages in the personals section with little success. Although, Gracia did give him a funny look when she noticed how much attention he had been paying to the personal ads.

Looking to his right, he watched as Elysia sat on the floor and did her homework on the coffee table, legs crossed under the wooden surface. Arriving home from school, she had jumped into his arms and told him that he had to help her with her math homework. Every once and a while, he would lean over and check her work, correcting her if need be and trying to explain himself as simply as possible.

"Ed?" Elysia's pencil stopped mid-strike and Ed turned to her, letting his right hand fall across his lap and propping his head up on his left.

"Hmmm?"

"Mommy says that you're lonely. Is that true?"

His head shot up, "What?! Where did that come from?"

"It's just…, you looked sad and I thought that had something to do with it." Elysia looked down and Ed let her continue. "Is it that you miss your brother?"

Ed stared at the little girl. It was true, he did miss Al, but as he had told himself thousands of times, their separation was for the best. He wasn't a suit of armor anymore, and Ed was still going out on dangerous missions. He didn't want to risk Al getting hurt, not when they had already sacrificed so much to make him whole again. Plus, Mustang had convinced him that there would be too many questions caused by Al's sudden change of appearance. Not that all of that made it any easier.

"Of course I miss him," he gently told her, "but that doesn't mean I'm lonely. I've got you and your mom, remember?"

"Yeah, but still, Mom's always saying how close the two of you are, and that you should be with him."

"Well," Ed let his body slip down to the floor lazily, the action caused Elysia to smile and he smiled as well, glad that the conversation was taking a lighter turn. "It's not like I can never see him. I go visit all the time. And in a little while, I'll even be able to see him everyday."

"Why's that?"

Ed allowed Elysia to crawl in his lap as he regaled her with a grand tale of the evil Roy Mustang and his devious contracts.

***

The Java Inn was a fairly nice shop in one of the more rural areas of Central. Here, store fronts were decked out to match the weather. Some windows were decorated with little white lights and others had cut-outs of snowflakes taped to the glass. Displays were filled with merchandise positioned on beds of white cotton and the lampposts were wrapped in pine garland. The inn was no different, it's window advising passersby to come in out of the cold and have a hot cup of coffee.

Stepping inside, Ed nostrils flared as the sweet and pungent aroma of pastries and coffee beans overwhelmed his senses. The interior looked almost identical to every other coffee house in the city; little metal tables surrounded by chairs, an area right in the center with two sofas facing each other, and a low table in the middle. The walls were painted a deep red, making it seem warmer than it really was.

Behind the counter, the baristas worked at a steady pace grinding coffee beans and steaming milk with a large stainless steel machine. Hardly any of them were much older than he was, and he wondered if, perhaps in another life, that could have been him, working for minimum wage to afford tuition and books. Or maybe, instead of being behind the counter, he'd be on the couch, surrounded by friends, eager and cocky in his newly acquired knowledge.

Walking through the café, Ed search out his "date," finally spotting her in the back corner. The table she had chosen was dimly lit and no other customers occupied the neighboring tables. She wore a black skirt and white blouse, her mid-length blond hair pulled up in a twist. A lit votive candle in the center of the table cast a warm glow on her face as she read a book. So engrossed was she, that she didn't look up until he had pulled out the chair next to her.

"I'm glad you came." She shut her book as he sat facing the door. Picking up the pale yellow tea cup and saucer in front of her, she eyed him curiously as he took in his surroundings. "Don't worry. No one's going to see us together."

Edward stopped cautiously scanning the crowd and stiffly managed to at least look like he was relaxing. Still keeping an eye on the entrance, he tried to make small talk, "So, what are you reading?"

"This?" She gestured to the cobalt hardcover, "This is a classic. Have you ever read it?"

Ed glanced at the title and author, "No. I'm not really into fiction."

"Really, you should try it." Putting down the cup, she lovingly laid a hand on the cover, her countenance far off and dreamy, "you see, in this story there are two people, lovers actually, who come from completely different backgrounds yet seem to completely compliment one another. They are together for a long time, happily, or so they think. One of them has an extremely dark past, so full of pain and misery and trauma that in the end, they can't help but betray the other."

"Huh," Ed blinked before his face contorted cynically, "sounds like quite the depressing tale, full of melodrama and cheap clichés."

"Even so, I like it."

'You would.' Ed didn't say it out loud, choosing instead to try being pleasant. It's what Al would want him to do.

"Have you read the newspaper lately?" She asked him coyly.

"Yes." Ed knew what she was getting at but chose to act oblivious.

"Anything…interesting?" Apparently, she wasn't buying his ruse.

With a sigh, he gave in, "…no."

Clara perked up, "Great! You see, you shouldn't be so suspicious."

"What!" Ed flared with righteous indignation, "Yes I should. I turn you into the police and then the next time I see you, you ask me out on a date. What's that about?"

"Who said anything about a date?"

Ed deflated. All this time he'd been assuming this was a date. The possibility that it wasn't made him feel…disappointed. This surprised him on a level that he just wasn't prepared for.

At his slightly stricken expression, Clara just giggled. "Relax Ed, of course this is a date. I was just kidding. But I am glad, now that I know you wanted it to be a date too."

Crossing is arms; Ed was slightly perturbed that he had been so transparent. "Yeah, some date: a state alchemist and a wanted thief out for a night on the town. How did you know that I wouldn't turn you in?"

"Let's just call it a woman's intuition."

"That's bull!" Ed stood and stabbed a finger at the table, "I could still transmute this table into a pair of handcuffs, you know."

"Let's save the bondage for later." Clara didn't miss a beat, just smirked as Ed's jaw nearly hit the table at her interpretation of his threat.

Ed sputtered and blushed, "That's not what I meant! I meant-"

"I know what you meant." She rolled her eyes, "Gee, I didn't think you'd be such a prude."

"I'm not a prude!" A few tables over, a couple took notice at Ed's outburst. He had the decency to look embarrassed and sat back down.

An awkward silence stretched out between them as Ed searched for something to say or even another accusation to throw at her. What did normal people talk about on dates? "So, what are you dong in Central? Do you have a job here or something?"

After taking a sip of her tea, Clara sat up proudly, "Actually, yes. I'm working as a secretary in a-"

"No. Wait. Let me guess." Ed interrupted her, placing a finger to his temple and closing his eyes, "'in an office building about to be demolished.' Right?"

Opening his eyes, Ed was taken aback by the annoyed, almost sad look on her face. He expected her to yell, or even cry out, calling his accusations unjust. Instead, she just covered the auto-mail hand resting on the table with her own.

"Ed," her voice was calm and soft, but at the same time, steady and strong, "Why don't you just relax and have a good time tonight, comfortable in the knowledge that I have no intention of getting in trouble with the law?" She paused, letting what she said so far sink in, "I forgave you for capturing me. Why can't you forgive me for being a thief?"

Ed was silent as he wrestled with what to do. His strong belief in justice kept flaring up, poking him in the side and reminding him of what she's done. On the other hand, she had been trying to save Aquroya. Even though she lied and tricked him, her intentions were good. Besides, he'd seen worse crimes go unpunished.

Begrudgingly, Ed gave in, "…but still. If people found out that I saw you and didn't turn you in or even report it, I would be in serious trouble."

"Don't worry," She assured him, "No one's going to know who I am. I've been on the lamb for years now and not a single person has ever come after me."

***

When Clara had brought up alchemy, Ed finally dropped his guard. They talked for hours on the subject, munching on pastries and sipping coffee and tea. Ed was surprised to learn that she was more adept at it that he originally thought and relieved when he learned that she knew very little about human transmutation and its consequences. They talked about their theories and areas that they held a specific interest in. It wasn't until Ed went off on a tangent that she couldn't follow that she changed the subject.

She regaled him with stories of her most interesting and comical heists and Ed took in all with a grain of salt. Most of Ed's stories were only humorous at his own expense so instead he talked about the Philosopher's Stone when she asked him if he ever found it. At her interest in the stone, he sternly warned her of how it was made, effectively extinguishing her desire for it.

She sat engrossed and teary eyed as he told her about Al and his missing body. Leaving out that it was lost attempting human alchemy; he instead made up a story of a botched alchemy experiment, which was mostly true anyway. He clarified the rumor about Lior and Scar and how the stone was created, skipping over the homunculi's involvement.

The most difficult was when he told her how he restored Al. The truth about the gate was hard to swallow. He didn't tell her that Al had been the Philosopher's Stone, just that it was offered to the gate, along with all the lives contained within it, in exchange for Al's body and reaffixing his soul to it.

When he finished, she had a lot of questions. He did his best to answer them without giving too much away. It was difficult, but she finally noticed how uncomfortable the subject made him and stopped asking.

***

Most of the store fronts were dark by the time they exited the coffee house. The boulevard was devoid of its occupants and the streetlights provided most of the light. A light snow had dusted the sidewalk and as the two walked side by side, they left fresh tracks in the moonlight.

She had taken his auto-mail arm as he walked her home, keeping to the street side – a gesture that she called chivalrous – and he liked that she didn't pull away from the cold that no doubt was seeping though the fabric.

***

Following Clara into the apartment, Ed quickly took in his surroundings. He was standing in a short hallway that opened into a large living room. There were two crimson love seats placed opposite one another with a matching sofa in between facing a full bookshelf on the wall. A table was pushed up behind the couch with a few candles decorating the center. It seemed warm and homey and he immediately felt relaxed. The floors were all hardwood and the furniture looked brand new. She was apparently living well for a fugitive.

Taking his coat, Clara hung it in a nearby closet in the hallway and he strolled in. Following closely behind him, Clara snapped on a few lamps, lighting the room in a soft glow. "Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Sure." He watched as she walked further down to another hallway and made a left to what was probably the kitchen. Following her for a few steps, he peaked down the hall and could see two more doors. Wandering around the room, the bookshelf caught his eye and he scanned the titles. Most of the books were on alchemy.

"Have you read any of those?"

He turned to see Clara standing behind the couch; two glasses clutched in one hand a bottle in the other. "All of them. This one twice." He pointed to the book in question.

"Of course you have. Silly question." Walking to the table behind the couch, she set the glasses and bottle down. Opening a drawer, she removed a box of matches and lit the three pillar candles in the center.

Ed began to feel apprehensive and shoved his hands into the pockets of his black pants. First coffee, now this. Just what did she expect of him? Walking around to stand next to her, he eyed her as she uncorked the bottle and poured the red liquid into the glasses.

"Clara. What are you doing?"

"Well, Edward, I'm about to have a drink with my most worthy captor and former adversary." She handed him a glass and he accepted it with his real hand.

"I can see that, but why?"

"Why not? I like you and you obviously like me or else you wouldn't be here." She raised her glass in a mock toast and took a sip.

"Huh?! You like me?" Ed felt the beginning of a blush coming on.

Clara smiled at his reaction and set her wine glass on the table. Closing the distance between them with a few deliberate steps, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled her body as close to his without really touching. "Isn't it obvious?"

She leaned in slowly for a kiss and Ed took a step back. "Wait." Her arms fell to her sides but her come-hither posture remained. Cheeks feeling as if they were on fire, Ed shakily set his glass next to hers and took a breath to calm himself. "What do you want with me?"

"If I have to spell it out for you, then maybe you're not the grown up I thought you had become."

Ed took the bait, and hackles rising, forgot any embarrassment he had, "I don't believe in casual sex."

One of the many things he hated about Mustang was how he always bragged to him about the girls he was sleeping with. To Ed, people weren't toys.

"My, you are the chivalrous one aren't you?" Clara again closed the distance he put between them and gently took his human hand in her own. "Of course I expected as much. Just like I expected you to be a virgin."

Staring her in the eye, Ed was mildly irritated at her correct assumption, and felt himself begin to blush again.

Clara chucked, it seemed like she couldn't get enough of embarrassing him, "Its okay. A lot of men your age are. And leading the life you do, it's only natural."

"What do you know about my life?" he spat at her.

She was not put off and instead held his auto-mail hand in her free one. "Rumors mostly, and some truths based on my own observations. You lead a hard, dangerous life. It's only natural that you keep people at a distance. Plus, you have these," Lifting up their joined hands, Clara gently peeled off his gloves, exposing his auto-mail. She let go of his human hand and he let it fall to his side, captivated as she gently stroked the lines of the metal. "As common as it is, you are still ashamed of them."

"I'm not ashamed." He defended himself.

"No? Then why do you wear gloves and long sleeves all the time? It's not because of the cold because you wore them in Aquroya in the summer as well."

She was right, he was ashamed, but not of his auto-mail. It was the reason he had to have it in the first place that shamed him, but of course, he'd never tell her that. Hanging his head, Ed watched as she continued to stroke his hand. "I can't feel that you know."

"I know."

Her smile was small and melancholy as she leaned in and kissed him. It was short and gentle, barely more than a whisper. When he didn't pull away, she leaned in again. Slowly, she captured his bottom lip with her own. Their bodies were now touching and Ed felt her sigh against his mouth. Closing his eyes and breathing though his nose, he deepened the kiss.

Clara placed the hand she had been holding on her waist and as the two pulled apart again, Ed slowly opened his eyes. She was looking at him, studying his face with the most open expression he had ever seen on her face. It was honest and real and any resolve or left over suspicion he had been holding on to vanished.

Boldly, he kissed her again, this time bringing up his real hand to run through her hair. Pulling her closer, he felt his blood begin to rush away from his head as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She led the kiss as it deepened, placing a hand on the back of his head and guiding him as she moved her mouth against his.

Moaning lightly, he moved them so they turned and Clara's back leaned against the table. She answered him with a pleased hum and he tried to remove her hair clip. His fingers fumbled with the unfamiliar device and he felt Clara chuckle into the kiss before pulling away.

"Here." Expertly she undid the clasp and threw it on the table. Turning away, she grabbed his auto-mail hand and began leading him down the hallway past the kitchen to the last door on the right. He stopped in the doorway, nervousness returned with what he saw there.

The room was average size. A wardrobe closet sat to his left and to his right was a vanity dresser with a mirror. In the middle of the room, was a queen sized bed with a simple light blue bedspread, a night stand on either side, each decorated with a lamp. Clara walked into the room and causally began unbuttoning her white blouse.

She didn't seem to notice his apprehension as she walked to the vanity, grabbed a box of matches and began lighting the candles that were spread through the room. When she was done, the room was lit mostly by their light with a few rays from the moon shining in through the window. Walking back to where he was standing, she again took him by the hand and led him to the foot of the bed.

Without a word, she slipped her hands under his red sweater and pulled it over his head. Ed assisted her, tossing it to the floor. Slowly, she began unbuttoning his shirt. Dumbly, Ed just stared at the exposed transmutation circle on her chest, not knowing what else to do.

In no time she had reached the final button and ran her hands up his chest to his shoulders and gently pushed the shirt to the floor, leaving him in only his black pants, minus belt, and boots. He did the same with her shirt, taking in the sight of her clad in only a white lacey bra, black skirt and heels.

Like she did with his hand, she gently ran her fingers up his auto-mail arm. He shivered when her fingers brushed along the areas where flesh met steel. "So many scars…" looking into his eyes, Clara placed one hand on his chest and used the other to place his auto-mail hand on her back.

"It's cold." Ed stopped her before his hand met her flesh.

"I don't mind." She smiled, "Some people like to use ice cubes in the bedroom. They find the change of temperature highly erotic."

All Ed could respond with was a dumb, "Oh."

Choosing a different tactic, Clara guided his metal hand slowly up her side, gasping as the fingers brushed against her covered breast. Reaching her shoulder, Ed gently ran his fingers down her arm, watching intently as goose bumps formed along the skin and her nipples hardened.

Confidence building, he wrapped his left arm around her waist and kissed her, running his right hand slowly up and down her spine. Clara moaned and shivered a bit. Arms around his shoulders, she pressed her body close to Ed's taking comfort in the warm human flesh and receiving pleasure from the places the cool metal touched her.

Heart beating fast, Ed felt his pants begin to become tight as his growing erection strained against the material. Clara seemed to notice and ground her hips into his groin. Gasping, he broke the kiss but Clara didn't relent, just continued kissing his neck. Ed felt his knees get weak as she found a particularly sensitive place by his ear.

Suddenly, her hands were at the waist of his pants, undoing the top button and pulling down the zipper. With a push they fell to the floor and Ed struggled to toe off his boots. Succeeding in his task, he felt around for the zipper on her skirt and pulled it down. She repeated his movements, toeing off her heels and stepping out of the skirt.

Standing in their underwear in the dimly lit room, their mouths met once more. Tugging with one of her arms that were around his neck, Ed took her hint and lowered them to the bed. Pushing him away, Clara scooted to the head of the bed, Ed crawling after her. Expertly, she removed her bra and lay back, waiting for him.

After staring at her for a few moments, Ed joined her, lying on her left side; half his body covering her own, kissing her neck in the same place she had on his. Experimentally, he began to explore her body with his warm hand. Almost shyly, he cupped her exposed breast. She gasped as his thumb accidentally grazed the hard nipple. Ed did it again, pleased to hear her gasp, knowing that it was because of him.

Her hands, which up until this point had been at his side, began to roam the expanse of his back. One hand came to the waistband of his white boxers and a finger slipped under the elastic.

Ed's head shot up and he gasped as Clara held his erection in her hand, gently stroking the shaft. Moaning, he thrust himself into her waiting hands. Clara moaned, and Ed bit his lip at the pleasure that came from her ministrations.

As the initial surprise and shock wore off leaving only the pleasure, Ed struggled to find the right way to make her feel what he was feeling. Propping his upper body up on his auto-mail arm, he used his left to pull off her matching white panties. Clara lifted her lower body to help him and he tossed the clothing to the floor.

Running his hand along her thigh, he stopped when he reached her groin, unsure of what he should do. Sure, studying human composition, he knew where everything was, but this was a completely different matter.

Sensing his anxiety, Clara removed her hand from his genitals and guided his hand to her folds, showing him how to touch her. She gasped and closed her eyes as she ran his fingers along the outer edges of her vagina. Slowly, she pulled her hand away, allowing him to explore on his own.

Watching her face, he continued to stroke her. As her wetness built, he slowly inserted a finger, pleased when she began to writhe with pleasure. Thrusting into her, he watched her face as he changed the pace and strength of his strokes to fit her need.

"Oh, Ed," She moaned and Ed felt his crotch throb at the mention of his name. Her hand found its way back to his member and began to firmly stroke it.

He moaned her name and nearly whimpered as she once again pulled away. She pushed at his shoulders and obediently, he lay on his back. Her hands tugged at the waistband and he lifted his bottom to help her remove his boxers. Once off, she flung a leg over his waist and straddled him.

"Are you ready?"

Grabbing her hips and breathing heavily, he eagerly nodded his head. Taking him into her hands, she positioned him at her opening. Holding on to his shoulders, she slowly sank onto him.

Ed choked on a gasp and his eyes rolled back in his head. It was so warm and soft. He was cradled deeply within her tightness and at last he understood why men were so eager to be there.

Opening his eyes, he saw her staring at him, panting lightly, cheeks rosy and eyes shining with excitement and mischief. She smiled at him, as if she knew exactly what she was doing to him. Rolling her hips forward slowly, Ed groaned and tried to keep his eyes from closing again.

She pulled back just as slowly and again rotated her hips forward, bringing him deeper inside her and holding him there before pulling back. Each stroke built in speed, and the time they held their bodies firmly together decreased until they had reached a steady tempo. This was the pace she set, and Ed struggled to keep some semblance of composure.

Instead, he locked eyes with the woman above him and for a while they seemed to partake in a battle of wills. Loser loses control first. Psiren was right; it was more fun as man and woman.

Sweat began to coat their bodies at the slow, strenuous pace of their love making. Desperately, Ed dug his fingers into her flesh, thrusting up to meet her and holding himself there for a moment before she ebbed away.

Clara gasped and wavered, almost breaking eye contact. Ed smirked. Refusing to loose, she returned his smirk with one of her own before abruptly changing pace, slamming their bodies together.

Ed couldn't help it; he arched his head back, eyes staring up into the distance. As Clara continued to ride him hard and fast, he forgot all about losing, it had never felt so sweet anyway. With all pretenses gone, Clara let loose, thrusting down hard on top of him, moaning and calling out his name.

Beneath her, Ed bit his lip and held on tight to her hips, trying to match the rapid pace and keep himself from coming. It was too soon, but the tempting way her breasts swayed back and forth and how she threw her head back in fervor were almost his undoing.

"Clare…" He choked out, trying to warn her, but he couldn't get the words out, afraid that just saying them would make it happen.

Eyes closed and head thrown back, Ed wasn't sure she even heard him. Letting out a small high-pitched keen, Clara continued to thrust down, her movements becoming erratic and jagged. "Oh Ed, I'm gonna…"

Her body began to shake and she cried out his name again. That was all it took for him to slip over the precipice. He came hard: back arched and eyes closed so tight that spots formed behind them. He was aware that he called out her name, maybe some other stuff too, but his voice seemed so far away. All he knew was the pleasure as it pulsed throughout his body.

Their thrusts became slow, riding out the aftershocks as they both came back to themselves. Breathing heavily, Clara slumped on to Ed's chest. They sat that way for a while, both catching their breath and not speaking. Eventually, Clara rolled to his auto-mail side and Ed cradled her as gently as he could.

"Is that uncomfortable?" He asked her. His voice was soft, afraid that if he spoke too loud the moment would be ruined.

"No, it feels good. Nice and cool." Her pants gradually became less intense, and before he knew it, she was asleep in his arms.

* * *

**Notes on Chapter 2**

The date scene was pretty tough to write because it was difficult for me to make Ed stop slinging accusations. I'm still only 75% satisfied with his reasoning to begin to trust her, but that's okay because the character probably feels the same.

I don't know if the book Clara was reading actually exists; I just came up with the plot in order to have Ed say the line after. Yeah, I know its lame but I enjoy it.

Obviously, this story splits in to AU after about episode 48. I tried to give a general idea of what happened. How it happened exactly is not important to the story.

Little Known Fact:This chapter started up a b-storyline involving Roy/Riza. I scrapped it when I realized that the reason I had behind the conflict was dumb and wouldn't play out in a satisfying way.

B on Clara/Psiren: I always thought that Clara was an interesting character and held out hope to see her again. I never really saw her as a villain, just a woman who had her reasons. I liked her because she seemed so strong and confident in her sensuality, yet carried with her a deep sadness.

**Coming Up**:

The morning after. Will people find out about Ed's new lover?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: FMA does not belong to me and I make no profit from any of these tales. Any further archiving of my fiction is strictly prohibited unless cleared by me This is a standard disclaimer and applies for all further chapters.**

* * *

**The Alchemist's Guide to Relationships: Lust**

**Chapter 3**

**Ex Post Facto**

* * *

For the second morning in a row, Ed was unnaturally awoken by something other than an alarm clock. As pleasant as the fingers trailing through his hair were, it was still an unfamiliar feeling.

Cracking open an eye, he came face to face with Clara. The previous night's events popped into his mind when he noticed that she was still completely naked.

Lying on his stomach, he put his head back down in the crook of his arms and tried to hide the blush he knew would inevitably form. "…Hi." He mumbled awkwardly.

"Hi yourself." She continued to play with his hair. Sometime while he slept the tie had been removed and it tumbled freely around his shoulders and pillow.

Part of him wanted to stay right there. The feel of her hands as they stroked his head made him feel like he would begin to purr if it were possible. He also wanted to sleep with her again. He knew it had been good for him and he thought it had been good for her too, but he still wanted to try again and be sure.

Another, smaller part of him wanted to run screaming from the apartment. He couldn't help it. In quiet moments such as this, his suspicions would arise once more. He was constantly assaulted by the fear of being caught with a fugitive and going to jail, all because he couldn't control his libido.

"Ed? You're not going to get weird on me, are you?" Although she was aiming for light, Ed caught the hint of worry.

"Depends on what you mean by 'weird,'" was his muffled reply.

"Distant."

"It's not that I'm trying to be, I just…" with a sigh he turned over to sit up. Realizing that he was still naked, he pulled the covers up. Clara giggled at the act and his eyes were drawn to her exposed breasts. "Could you cover up or something?" he said, hastily turning around and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Leaning against the headboard on her side, Clara propped an arm on her hip and stuck her chest out, "What's the matter? I thought you said that you weren't a prude?"

"I'm not!" he protested.

"Then why are you so uncomfortable with the naked body" If she expected an answer, he didn't give her one. "Or maybe," her voice took on a mischievous tone and he felt the mattress shift behind him, "when you see me like this," arms around his shoulders, "it makes you think," Her breath, seductive against his ear, "of all the things," a hand trailing slowly down his chest, "you want to do to me." Her mouth found his neck and his groin tightened instantly.

"Wait," he jumped up before her hand could reach his lowers, taking the sheets along with him. "We can't just stay in bed all day and- and-" he struggled for the right word.

"Screw? Fuck?" She offered.

"Well, yeah."

"You're right." She stood and Ed looked away as she approached. "That auto-mail, can it get wet?"

At the out of the blue question, Ed looked at her, brows knit together and trying to keep his eyes above her neck. "…yeah. It's fine so long as I don't submerge it for long periods of time, or else it could-"

"Great!" She took his hand and pulled him, tumbling over bed sheets, out of the room and down the hall into the bathroom.

***

A couple hours later, Ed had managed to pry Clara off him and she had managed to drag him out in public.

The diner was about five blocks away from Clara's apartment. Ed had protested at how close that put them to H.Q. but Clara just told him to relax. It was her favorite place. All the waitresses wore matching uniforms and the dusty rays of the sun filtered in pleasantly through the checkered blinds.

Business was slow on the mid-week day. Only a few customers sat at the tables and booths. A couple of regulars had taken up positions at the bar, drinking coffee and laughing with the waitresses that called them by their first names.

They had come to a compromise on where to sit. Clara had favored a table in the front, which Ed flat out refused, wanting to instead drag them to a dimly lit booth in the back corner. They had managed to meet in the middle, literally. Clara had even allowed him to take the side facing the door. Occasionally, he would look out of the booth, trying to peek around the high-back separators and see if anyone he knew was there.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were embarrassed to be seen with me," she said.

Ed turned from his makeshift vigil, a somewhat guilty expression on his face. The truth was, he was a little embarrassed, but not of her. Of all the scenarios running through his head, the least worst one was that someone would see him out with a woman, wearing the same, slightly wrinkled, clothes he had on yesterday. Add in the fact that the woman was much older than him and it was a recipe for disaster and harassment.

It was no secret that he was a virgin, much to his dismay. Once they heard the news, Mustang's squad of loonies would probably throw him a party, banner and all. He could just see Mustang's face in his head, patting him on the back and congratulating him on finally becoming a man. If he ever asked for details, he'd punch him in the face.

It had felt like all his life, he had been living for others. His skills were a weapon on the state and his loyalties lied with the people. Factor in the unimaginably long list of every thing he shared with Al – not that he minded – and there wasn't a single thing in his life that didn't have someone else's fingerprints smudged on it. That wasn't so in the case of his relationship, for lack of a better word, with Clara.

"I just want to keep this between us for the moment. Besides, it's nice, having something all to myself." The corners of her mouth turned up at his causal comment. It was probably the closest he'd come to admitting his feelings, or understanding them for that matter.

"So, I'm yours now, am I?"

"Well…yes, er, no, I mean…do you wanna be?" For the umpteenth time, Ed found himself stumbling to explain himself. Why couldn't women be easy, like Alchemy?

"Relax Edward. As long as we both admit that there's something here, we can put off giving it a name."

Ed accepted her proposal, even though that's what he wanted. Girlfriend, lover, whatever; just so long as it had a label. As a scientist, he needed it. They were vital. One mislabeling could ruin a whole experiment. Once again, he reminded himself that relationships weren't alchemy; he'd have to accept things as they were.

"Hello Edward, sir!"

Ed could count on one hand the number of times his atheist beliefs had been compromised. This was one of those times. There was a God, and he was punishing him.

Clara seemed unperturbed as Sergeant Denny Bloch and Second Lieutenant Maria Ross, in full military uniform, approached their booth.

Casting a stricken expression at Clara, he was glad that she wore a turtle-neck to cover the marks on her neck from their shower this morning. He would have a tough time explaining them.

"We didn't recognize you at first with your hair like that."

Ross's voice lacked any kind of accusation and his hand automatically went to the ponytail, his human fingers meeting the dampness surrounding the tie. "Bloch, Ross, what are you doing here?"

"We always eat lunch here, when we have the chance."

Ed looked to the kitchen doors, praying to the God he'd just admitted to possibly existing, that their waitress wouldn't bring out their breakfasts. Ross, with all her intuition and motherly observations would surely make something out of it. It was bad enough feeling like he had 'I had sex' written on his face. Paranoid, he glanced at the reflective surface of the napkin dispenser to be sure.

Clara watched Ed with interest before the two officers noticed her presence.

"Who's your friend?" Bloch eyed Ed like a cat about to pounce.

Even though the question had been directed at Ed, Clara held her hand out and Ed watched as her whole demeanor changed. He had never met anyone, homunculi excluded, who oozed sexuality the way Clara did, in fact, he felt that it were entirely possible for her to make balancing a check book a turn on.

Normally half-lidded, bedroom eyes perked up and her come hither posture disappeared, "I'm Melissa, Ed's cousin." Her voice was chipper, gone were the sultry tones. Something in Ed sunk at how easily she could deceive.

"Oh, nice to meet you." Denny eagerly shook her hand, but Ed notice Maria looking suspiciously at the other woman.

"Ed never mentioned anything about a cousin."

_'Oh crap.'_

Clara turned to the dark haired woman, "I haven't seen him since he was a baby. I just moved to Central and I couldn't pass up the chance to meet the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, especially when I had an excuse as good as family.

_'Please, please, please, please, please…'_

Ross stared at the woman a while before she sighed, "Well, it was nice to meet you, but Bloch and I have to be going. Edward, we'll see you later."

She turned to leave. Bloch threw out a hasty farewell before jogging a few steps to catch up with her. They sat in silence for a while, not looking at each other. Their waitress came and went, with only a few mumbled words breaking the silence.

"You didn't have to do that you know," Ed said quietly.

"I know," Clara looked to him, "but like you said, this is private, at least for now."

Ed felt a little better and the silence became more companionable as they ate.

"So what are we going to do today?" Clara asked, "Would you believe that as long as I've been here, I haven't seen any of the sights? Maybe you could take me to the zoo. I promise I won't steal any animals."

"Actually," Ed rubbed his chin thoughtfully, playing along, "I have always wanted a monkey."

Clara giggled.

The moment didn't last long and Ed looked down at his plate, poking at an egg with his fork, "but seriously, I can't. I have these two friends, well...not really ifriends/i, but we do collaborate at times. Anyway, they sent me something a long time ago when I was on a mission."

"It's okay. You don't need to explain. I understand how brilliant men, like you, are."

Ed figured that there was probably something wrong with him if he passed up spending an afternoon with a beautiful woman for researching in a musty library, especially on behalf of the Trigham brothers, but he was determined not to turn into a complete horn-ball.

Relieved that she didn't think he was blowing her off, he decided to change the mood, "So, how many brilliant men _have_ you been with."

***

Maria grabbed the book from the shelf and filing it away in the proper section, resisted the urge to knock Bloch upside his head with it.

Scieszka had a very simple but specific filing system. A system Denny always seemed to mess up, probably because he was impatient, a little lazy, and lacked an eye for detail…

"What do you mean she's not his cousin?"

…which also made him dense.

It had started innocently enough. Of all the officers Ed associated with on base, she was by far, the most respectful of his private life; well, her and Captain Hawkeye. The boy had enough eyes on him, criticizing his every move, and she didn't want to be one of them. So she was content not to voice her suspicions aloud, that was, not until Denny had opened his mouth.

On the way back, he had mentioned how pretty Melissa was and hinted at asking Ed to set them up. She recognized it as what it was; an attempt to make her jealous. She had known about his feelings for her for a while and would rather give up Ed's secret than go there.

But she wasn't a complete traitor. She sidestepped as much as possible until they got to the office they were stationed at. He just wasn't getting it so she had practically shouted, 'she's not his cousin!'

"He lied, okay. It was obvious," she said.

"But why would he lie?"

"You know how people are around here. He probably didn't want anyone to know he was sleeping with someone."

"Who's sleeping with someone?" Heymans Breda and Jean Havoc walked into the office following Scieszka. His and Havoc's arms were loaded with reports and files they were returning.

"Ed is."

Ross shot Denny an annoyed look. The mouths of the two men hung open. Miraculously, Havoc's cigarette stayed in his mouth.

"With who?" Havoc demanded.

"Some older woman we met at the diner. She told us she was his cousin but Ross didn't believe her."

If she had the strength, Maria would have toppled the book case on Bloch's head.

"Ed's sleeping with a woman, an older woman!?"

Her stomach turned at the look on Breda's face. He probably had some cruel joke in mind and she suddenly had a vision of an obituary in the paper for Ed's virginity.

_'Damn you, Denny.'_

***

Sunset came early at this time of year, casting the world in darkness before dinner time, not that you could tell the difference through the rain clouds though. The day's earlier sunshine had given into a deluge, washing away snow and leaving ice and slush in its stead.

Ed had given in to his hunger and abandoned the library. He had made enough notes to hold him over for a while. Clutching the papers and files under his coat, he ran the last few steps to the shelter the awning of his building provided. Not that it mattered; he was already soaked.

In the lobby, he grabbed his mail and took the stairs to his floor. Coming to his door, he noticed light shining through the cracks. He tried the handle and it was unlocked.

After lunch with Clara, he had stopped back to change, but he knew he had locked the door and turned down all the lights. Either he was the victim of a careless burglar or another psycho fan had broken in.

As quietly as he could he entered the apartment. Setting his notes and mail down on an end table near the door, he prepared to defend himself if needed. The sight that greeted him in the kitchen was neither expected nor unwelcome. "Clara?"

"Surprised to see me, lover?" She placed a hand on her hip, proudly.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" he asked.

She gave him a 'do I really need to answer that' look. "I thought you'd be hungry so I'm making you dinner."

Stepping into the room, he looked to the stove. Indeed, pots and pans that had normally collected dust in his cupboard were hard at work.

"Is that my shirt?" he asked her.

Her lower body had been obstructed from view by the table. Coming around, he saw that she only wore a white button up shirt that was a little too long, the ends of it brushing the top of her bare thighs.

"Yeah, my clothes were soaked so I hung them in your shower."

Unable to resist, Ed kissed her tenderly. Keeping her far enough away to not get her too wet, but still getting close enough to feel her heat. Either that or it was the stove. Whatever it was, his spirits were instantly lifted.

Clara's hands came to his chest and gently pushed him away. He didn't step away, holding his hands on her hips.

"I noticed you were out of milk."

"Yeah, I don't really drink it." he shrugged.

"Well, I _always_ have a glass with dinner, so could you go down to the store and get some?"

Ed pouted, "But…it's raining! And I'm already cold and soaked."

"Let me put it this way," Clara smirked, "No milk, no dinner, no sex."

"I'll be right back." He was gone in an instant.

"Take and umbrella!" she called out. The only response she got was the sound of the hall closet opening and closing. The front door slammed shut and the room was filled with the sound of her giggles.

***

"I don't think we should do this."

Beside him, Havoc suppressed a sigh. Fuery really needed to relax. As the doors to the elevator closed, he pressed the button for Ed's floor. To his left, Breda whistled a nameless tune, hands in his pockets and almost bursting with glee. The news that Ed possibly had a girlfriend had left him on cloud nine. As a result, he had blabbed to most of the staff and now the whole base was talking about it.

"Do what?" Breda asked innocently, his eyes lit up with mischievous intent. "We're just going to visit our good friend Edward."

"…And pump him for info on his girlfriend," Jean added dryly.

"What are friends for?"

Fuery protested, "But if Captain Hawkeye finds out about this…"

"She won't"

"I mean, she _ordered_ us to mind our own business."

"If it comes to that, I'll handle Hawkeye." Havoc assured him.

The doors rolled open and the three men stepped off the lift. Walking down the hall, they stood in front of Ed's door.

"Should we knock?" Havoc asked.

Breda stepped forward and tried the knob. The door cracked open easily. "Why bother? It's wide open. Obviously he wants us to come right in." Breda led the three inside, a hesitant Fuery bringing up the rear.

Havoc looked around the apartment. There was nothing extraordinary about it except the large collection of books stacked on a bookshelf in the living room…

"Ed, now that you're back could you…"

…and the beautiful, half-naked woman standing in the hallway holding a bottle of wine.

"You're not Edward."

_'No, but I wish I was.'_

Jean's mouth hung open and he guessed it was the same for his counterparts.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Four pairs of eyes turned to see a drenched and angry alchemist standing in the doorway, a soggy brown paper bag and umbrella clutched in his arms.

"H-hi Sir." Fuery said.

"Edward." Breda was the first to regain his composure, "Hi buddy."

"What are you three doing here?" Ed's voice was low and dangerous.

"We just stopped to see you." Havoc offered.

"Oh really?" Ed wasn't buying it, "Did you talk to Ross today?"

"Actually, we overheard Bloch talking." Fuery said.

"Get out." Ed demanded.

"Come on, Ed," Breda pushed, "we came all this way."

The bag he was carrying was set down and Ed brought his hands up and held them inches apart, the threat evident in his eyes. The trio beat a hasty retreat, squeezing out the door single file and cautiously avoiding Ed. They made it to the elevator and got on in silence.

Once the doors closed, Breda burst out laughing, "Did you see the look on his face. He was pretty pissed!"

Havoc couldn't help it and joined in. Even Fuery let out a small laugh, more in relief than anything.

The three were still laughing when the elevator reached the lobby. Their glee was cut short however at the person standing there, waiting for the elevator.

"Captain." Fuery nearly choked.

Riza looked a bit confused for a moment before her face pulled into foreboding enlightenment. "Gentlemen." She nodded by way of a greeting.

Havoc swallowed. He knew that look. They were in trouble. "Uh…going up?" He asked lamely.

***

*THUNK*

For the hundredth time, Ed's forehead connected with the table.

"Sure it can't be all that bad." Clara tried to comfort him as he sat, banging his forehead on the kitchen table. The tension in his neck and back slowly eased as she rubbed them.

"Yes it can," was the muffled reply.

"Hey!" Clara's voice was chipper, "that little one called you 'Sir.'"

"Yeah," Ed sighed, "he does that."

"That gives me an idea."

Ed lifted his head from the space between his crossed arms and looked around to her.

"Want to play a game?"

Golden eyebrows met in first confusion then suspicion. "What kind of game?"

Clara peeled her lips back in an impish smirk and ran a finger along his hand, "A naughty one." Grabbing the hand, she pulled him away from the table and toward the bedroom.

"But, what about dinner?" Ed looked back into the kitchen offering no resistance whatsoever.

"We can re-heat." The former thief called over her shoulder. Ed marveled at how familiar she seemed with his home already. She knew exactly where the bedroom was and began digging through his closet as if it were her own. "Now, where did I see….Ah ha! Here, put this on."

Ed stared at the clothing bag that was thrust into his hands. What did they need clothes for? He thought the whole point of sex was to get naked. Voicing his concerns, Clara just laughed at him and demanded that he get changed and meet her in the living room as soon as possible.

***

It was ridiculous. No, _she_ was ridiculous and clearly insane. And some kind of pervert but he wasn't really minding that. How many more times was she going to send him back in the room to fix his uniform? First she said that he needed to iron it, so he did, then she complained that he was missing his watch, and now, she was demanding that he put on his medals. How she knew he had them was a mystery, but he dutifully went about the task of pinning them on his jacket. He looked in the mirror to make sure that there was nothing else for her to pick at and was satisfied when he found none. Uncomfortably, he pulled at the bottom of the jacket. He couldn't help it. He never wore this uniform because he spent more time in the field and in the library than at the base.

"Clara," He called out as he stepped through the door, "I hope you're satisfied because I'm not going back in there again." His voice echoed in the empty living room, "Clara?"

There was a shuffling sound coming from his other bedroom and he peeked inside the door. The room had been converted into a study. He had always wanted one ever since he was twelve and learned that the librarians only let you stay at the library so long. Like his living room, there were many bookcases and a single desk and chair were pushed up against the wall – or rather, they used to be. Clara had pulled the desk out to the middle of the room and there was now a second chair, one from his kitchen, sitting in front of it. The thief was currently sitting smugly on said chair, hands cuffed in front of her.

Swallowing hard, Ed focused on that particular piece of jewelry, "Where'd you get the handcuffs?"

"You put them on me. Don't you remember, _Sir_?" For being shackled, the woman didn't seem at all subdued, staring at him with a hungry, playful look in her eyes.

_'Sir?'_ Ed was becoming used to being confused by her. Taking in the scene, he was struck by a sense a familiarity. The positioning of the furniture, the uniform, the handcuffs; this was almost exactly like Mustang's office! Did that make him Roy Mustang! Rage burned at the back of his mind before he mentally kicked himself. She'd never met Roy Mustang.

"What's the matter Major Elric?" She blinked innocently and stretched in her chair seductively, "Did you misplace my file?"

"…No…" Ed said, unsure of what she wanted him to do. Just what kind of game was this anyway? Hesitantly, he approached the desk.

"Then, you've read it and seen for your own eyes that I'm clearly innocent." Big eyes and a pouty lip were drawing him in.

Not knowing what else to say, Ed merely stared at her dumbly, "Uh…is that so?"

The thief stood and stepped right into his personal space, "Uh huh. Isn't there," she began playing with the buttons on the coat, "Any way I can convince you," Fingers moved to the top button and teased at un-doing it, "to let me go?"

A light bulb went on and Ed suddenly felt very naughty. Clara's smile revealed a full row of white teeth as his mouth formed a perfect 'O'.

"I can think of a few things…" Ed replied, sliding into the role of the captor. Boldly, he captured her lips and felt the top button of his jacket popped open. He pushed them back toward the desk. He was thankful that she still wore only his shirt and her undergarments, it was less restricting this way for his hand to slide between her legs.

Moaning as his hands toyed with her; Clara sat back on the desk and lifted a leg to wrap around his hips. Bound hands looped around his neck; he'd have to take control this time. "What would you like me to do, sir?"

Ed's eyes were lidded heavily with lust and he didn't respond for a while so the thief prompted him. "Un-button you pants." He did as he was told and pulling him close, Clara slid down his body. Hands still bound, they held firm to his buttocks and her teeth easily pulled down the zipper of his uniform pants. The look on his face was priceless. Being the only one with a free hand, Ed helped her free his erection and braced his hands on the desk at the first stoke of her tongue along his penis.

Hands firmly on his backside, she guided him into her mouth and led his hips in the rhythm of her choice, slow and deep. He moaned her name and she pulled away to look up. "Who's Clara?" she smiled.

Edward panted and looked confused for a second. Her tongue brought him back around and this time he moaned, "Psiren."

He was rewarded when she took him back in her mouth and allowed him the fast and hard pace he desired. When his pants were rapid and his muscles tense, she pulled away. Right on the brink, Ed muffled a pained groan and pulled her up by the shoulders. His hands hastily pulled down her panties. Papers were shoved out of the way as he laid her on the surface.

He easily spread her and pulled her hands above her head, one hand holding them there as he threw his whole body into his thrusts.

"Oh…yes…Sir…" Clara's head was thrown back and her body rocked along with his. Ed called out the thief's name as he neared his orgasm. He could feel it; a mass of energy collecting inside of him, driving his actions and needing to be released. His other hand slipped between their bodies to the place he had learned she liked to be touched. She moaned loudly at his first touch and he eagerly stoked her until he felt her muscles contract around him and her body quiver beneath him. He let go, collapsing when the last of the energy left his body and made his knees weak.

He looked up when Clara's hands began brushing though his hair, the manacles lying discarded to the side. He didn't even ask how she picked the lock so quickly. She smiled up at him, but there were lines around her eyes that had nothing to do with the expression for it did not reach that far.

"Is something the matter?" He asked.

Clara closed her eyes and shook her head, dispelling the feeling that had flittered across his mind. Laying his head on her chest, he was content for the moment to stay right there, listening to the sound of her heart beat. In a moment, he'd get up and go about the difficult task of sorting through the research notes that he had scattered in a moment of blind lust.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: FMA does not belong to me and I make no profit from any of these tales. Any further archiving of my fiction is strictly prohibited unless cleared by me This is a standard disclaimer and applies for all further chapters.**

* * *

**The Alchemist's Guide to Relationships: Lust**

**Chapter 4**

**What's it to you?**

* * *

It loomed before him greater than any he had seen before, even in the place of dark memories, pain, and forced information. If he squinted just right, the swirl or knotted wood in the center even resembled an eye. He felt twelve years old again and ready to walk in for the first time. He always knew he'd have to face this someday. Well, he had better just get it over with.

Before opening the door, Ed sculpted his face into an annoyed scowl. Pulling his posture as straight and as tall as possible, he walked into Mustang's office.

As usual, the Brigadier General was seated behind his desk, not working. His staff, all present and accounted for, occupied the other desks in the room, all at least pretending that his arrival wasn't the event that they had been anxiously awaiting.

"Fullmetal, how gracious of you to pull yourself out of bed and come visit us."

"Ed, Buddy," Breda spoke, "you look exhausted."

A couple members of the staff snickered and Ed's eyebrow twitched. "So you all know. And I take it that, from all the stares I got walking in here, you've told everybody."

His only answer was another round of laughter. Walking to the couch, he sat down, "Okay, let's get this over with."

With that, everyone stopped pretending to work, except for Hawkeye who really was working, and turned to him. He watched as they all came to gather around him, all except for Breda, who slipped from the room nearly unnoticed.

"So, Melissa, huh?" Havoc asked.

"Yeah."

"How much older than you is she?"

"Only nine years."

"Nine, huh?" Mustang spoke up, "You're lucky. Being with an older woman is quite a treat, don't you agree?"

"I've hardly known her for a week! What makes you think I've slept with her?" Ed shouted.

"We saw her in your apartment, wearing only your shirt." Fuery piped up.

"I'm not saying anything about that." Ed tried to hide the blush by turning away from the group.

"Oh, come on," Havoc pushed, "I want to hear."

Ed was saved from anymore questions by the door bursting open. Breda was standing in the doorway, holding what had to be the most obscenely shaped cake he'd ever seen. Strategically arranged, were the words 'Congratulations Fullmetal' written in icing.

The whole staff burst out laughing at the look on his face and all he could say was, "I'm not eating that."

***

"You guys suck!" In a truly childish display, Ed slammed the door closed and kicked it for good measure. This only caused the people on the other side to laugh harder. Passing soldiers turned their heads to see what the ruckus was about. Upon seeing a furious alchemist, they turned away and quickly left. He didn't care. He was angry, humiliated, and covered in cake. Using his hands, he began wiping the food off his face and flinging it on the clean floor, not caring that he was making a mess.

"Here, use this."

Ed looked up as a towel was put in front of his face. So enraged, he didn't even see the Captain standing there.

"Thanks." He took the towel and began picking cake out of his hair.

A passing group of soldiers saw him standing there. Whispering amongst themselves they suddenly called out in unison, "Congratulations Fullmetal!"

"Screw you!" He hollered back.

The group broke out into uproarious laughter and one among them called out as they walked away, "Hey, Ed, you've got cake on your face!"

"Ugh!" Ed watched them leave; making note of their faces so that he could kick their asses later. "Did everyone see that damn cake?"

"There were pictures." Hawkeye answered as stoic as ever.

Ed stared at her, hoping she was kidding. She wasn't.

"You should take these." Hawkeye pulled an envelope out of a pocket hidden inside of her jacket and gave it to Ed.

Ed blinked in surprise and took it from her, "What's this?" Opening it, he pulled out two tickets.

"Tickets to a show tonight. Consider it an apology from the Brigadier General."

"In that case…" Ed viciously stuffed the tickets back in their envelope and made like he was going to tear them in half.

"Actually," Riza calmly explained before he could go through with it. "Mustang was going to use them for his date tonight, but I decided he won't need them."

Eyeing the Captain to discern if she was lying or not, Ed held the pose a moment before deciding to believe her. "On second thought…" Ed shoved the envelope in his pocket. "Good day, Captain." He saluted and walked off, Hawkeye doing the same.

***

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Ed mumbled as he ran to get the ringing phone. He had called Clara at work to let her know that he was taking her out to the show. She was delighted and now, freshly showered and shaved; he only had a couple hours until their date.

Rounding the corner to the living room, he finished dressing himself, pulling the belt through the buckle and adjusting the clasp to the proper tightness.

"Hello."

_"Ed! Hi!" _The extremely familiar female voice said.

"Winry!" He was excited to hear her voice, and then something occurred to him. Why would she call him unless… "What's wrong?"

The voice laughed. _"Nothing, you big freak."_

"Oh," Ed's voice was relived and a little embarrassed, "then…why are you calling?"

"_I was just checking to see if you came back from your mission."_ The question was there in her voice. The one she always never asked; 'Are you alright?'

Ed sat on the couch, "I came back Monday. It wasn't even that exciting of a mission. I didn't even get to hit anyone." 'Yeah, everything's okay.'

_"But you were gone so long."_

"I know!" Ed agreed, as outraged as she. "All I did was chase around a rumor and step in cow patties."

_"Huh?"_

"I was in Paro."

_"Oh,"_ There was a slight giggle, _"I know how you hate cows."_

"Yeah, and these ones were so big they made Nelly's look like house cats." She giggled at his joke and it felt nice to hear someone laughing when the joke wasn't on him. "So where's Al?"

_"He ran to the store for Granny."_

"Oh," his voice became serious, "How is he?" Ed bit his lip as he waited for her to answer the question. Anytime he asked Al, he'd just put on a fake smile that mirrored one of his own and tell Ed he was 'fine.' With Winry, he always knew she'd give it to him straight.

_"…Well…mostly, he just misses you. I catch him staring off into the distance sometimes but when I ask him what's wrong, he only says 'nothing.' Other that that, he's fine. Oh!"_ Her voice perked up, _"I think he has a crush."_

"Really…who?" His voice was slightly skeptical.

_"Some girl in the village. I don't know her that much but she works in the Deli. I think her name is Amelia."_

"How old is she?" This was what Ed always worried about when he thought about his brother's future with women. He was an eighteen year old in a thirteen year old body, and he always wondered what end of the spectrum he'd be attracted to. His soul was more mature than the thirteen year old girls, but his body was too young for the eighteen year old girls.

_"Fourteen. But from the way Al talks about her, she's mature for her age_."

"So, he's told you he likes her?" Ed worried his lip waiting for the answer. If Al had told Winry, then Edward knew he'd feel a little left out. Al was supposed to come to him with those things.

_"No, but a girl can tell."_ There was a pause before Winry spoke again. "_So Ed, when are you coming back for another visit?"_

Ed sighed and gave her the same answer as always, "First chance I get."

_"Well, aren't you on leave now!?_

"Only for a few more days." Ed didn't mean to be so snippy with her, but lately she had been pestering him more and more about his inevitable return.

_"So what have you been doing? Why didn't you come over?"_

Ed sighed; he might as well tell her. She'd only get upset if she found out on her own later. "Well…I kind of…met someone."

_"…"_

The silence on the other end worried and confused him. "Winry?"

_"…a female someone?" _The voice was timid and cautions and so un-Winry like that he was thrown for a loop.

"Yeah."

_"…oh."_

"Winry, is something the matter?"

Her tone changed extremely fast. _"N-no! Everything's fine! Hey, you have been taking care of your auto-mail, right?"_

"Of course!" Ed still felt dizzy from her change of tone. "Well…there was this incident with a muddy cow pond in Paro. I had it cleaned there and the guy messed with the ports." He started talking quickly. It was strange. He knew he was getting himself in trouble, while he was getting himself in trouble, and yet, his mouth just wouldn't stop. "I'm sorry Winry! I tried to stop him but he did it before I knew what was happening!"

_"WHAT!"_

Ed slammed the phone down in fear, Winry's voice still ringing in his ear. A moment later, it rung again and he jumped. Grabbing his shoes and coat, he fled the apartment.

***

The week's cold and cloudy weather was finally beginning to recede that evening. Strong winds that afternoon had blown away the thick white clouds and allowed the sun to spotlight over the city. The rain had washed away mountains of snow, whose puddles had evaporated in today's rising temperatures. Now, the sun slowly sunk in the western sky, coloring the twilight in shades of orange, blue, violet, and red. A few clouds still hovered in the sky, the dusk making them appear fantastical in their lavender glory.

This was the sight that greeted Ed as he pulled the borrowed car up to the curve of the Western Towers apartment building and set the brake. A few puddles still littered the ground and he carefully avoided them, not wanting to get his nice shoes dirty.

Looks weren't his first priority in life and it always made him feel odd when a person complimented them. Certainly he was aware of why some people found him attractive; golden hair and eyes, a slim muscular build that had recently grown several inches making him less self-conscious, and his face was recently devoid of baby fat. All the things he had lacked physically as a child had sprung up, creating the man he was today, but he never dwelled on it. Today, however, he had to admit that he looked pretty good.

Ever since power had been turned over to parliament, military officers had found themselves attending more and more formal events, so much so that he actually owned the suit he was wearing. It wasn't particularly fancy for a tuxedo, he didn't go for the tails or top hats like some others did. It was just basic black and white. He had bought a new forest green silk tie to match what Clara had told him she was wearing. It stood out against the starched white undershirt, the only bright spot in his morbid attire besides his ever present gloves. Silver buttons dotted his black vest and the cuffs of his jacket. His pocket watch hung from one on his vest and was tucked safely in one of the pockets, causing the residents in the lobby to do a double take as he strolled up to the elevator, long black dress coat billowing about as he moved.

Arriving at her floor, he knocked. The woman that greeted him brought a gentle smile to his lips. She was an emerald vision. Her short hair was left down and styled simply. Light makeup accentuated her green eyes and matched up perfectly with her gown and gloves. The silk sleeveless dress clung tightly to her chest, the high neck hiding her tattoo. The dress fell down gently from the bust line, accentuating her curvy body. As she moved, the material flowed and adjusted, catching the light and appearing to be an aqueous solution.

"Not bad, huh?" She said.

"No, not at all." He answered. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, just let me grab my shawl."

***

"Come on, let's go." Roy leaned over Riza's shoulder and closed the file she had been reading. "The show starts soon and we still need to get changed."

Riza casually flipped the cover back open, "We're staying here."

His hands found their way to her shoulders and began rubbing sensually. "You're right." One hand trailed across her collar bone to the first button on her uniform. "It has been a while since we…" The button was undone, "stayed late."

Her eyes narrowed and she called upon her legendary patience. One would think that, being Brigadier General, he would have more on his mind than just sex. "That's not what I had in mind, sir."

The 'sir' was a clear sing that she meant business and Roy pulled away. "Okay, what _did_ you have in mind?"

"Case number 11295." She handed him a copy of the report and he took it dumbly.

"You're going to miss your favorite show for work?"

"Yes."

The folder was thrown to the desk, "But I gave you those tickets as a gift."

Riza sighed, "…And I gave them to Edward as an apology."

"Apology? For what?"

Gritting her teeth, she answered as calmly as she could. The man could be so stubborn sometimes, "For the way _you_ and _your_ men acted today."

Roy's mouth hung open.

***

Edward didn't pay much attention to the ballet. There was just something about men in tight clothes and anorexic looking women that turned him off. Clara, on the other hand, seemed to be having the time of her life. He held her hand and watched her eyes light up as the dancers pirouetted across the stage. Every once and a while, she'd look over to him and he'd quickly pretend like he wasn't watching her. He obviously couldn't fool her though and when he looked back, she always had a knowing smile on her face.

After the show, they stayed and smoozed with a couple politicians he knew only in passing. Not his idea of a good time but Mustang would kill him if he snubbed the aristocracy. Clara was a natural charmer and more than once, he felt like he could honestly see her doing this all her life.

***

They entered his apartment and Clara went straight to his bedroom. He followed. She had been unusually quiet the whole ride back, and yet, he didn't ask why. He thought maybe she was just tired. She was standing at the window, arms crossed and peering out into the silvery night. The sky was free of clouds allowing the stars and the moon to shine brightly.

His jacket and vest were removed and carefully hung on a chair before he crossed the room to stand behind her, "Beautiful night."

"Yeah," she agreed wistfully, "it'll be spring soon."

His hands found her shoulders and began trailing along them, light kisses following in their wake, "Yeah," he mumbled against her soft skin, "I suppose it will."

One of her hands came up to rest on his, stopping his actions, her head turned to the side, addressing him but not looking at him directly, "Ed? Tonight, can you just hold me?"

Her eyes turned up to his and golden eyebrows rose in confusion. There was insecurity in her voice and a storm in her eyes, "…Okay."

He wanted to pry, but she didn't say anything else, just laid down on the bed. He joined her, positioning them so that he was curled at her back, living arm holding her middle. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but got the distinct impression that she wasn't going to talk by the way she closed her eyes, preparing for sleep. Eventually, his eyelids grew heavy and he too drifted off to sleep, formal wear and all.

* * *

B on Winry: Poor Winry! Stupid boys!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: FMA does not belong to me and I make no profit from any of these tales. Any further archiving of my fiction is strictly prohibited unless cleared by me This is a standard disclaimer and applies for all further chapters.**

* * *

**The Alchemist's Guide to Relationships: Lust**

**Chapter 5**

**I hate her, and I love her.**

* * *

He was cold.

Eyes still closed, a flesh and blood hand shot out looking for the warm body he knew he had fallen asleep next to. His eyes blinked open when his search turned up nothing but the cooling cotton sheets. Sitting up, he listened for the sound of running water, the fridge door slamming, anything that would suggest that Clara was still there. Getting up, he quickly changed into his usual black attire and smoothed his ponytail.

Checking every room, Ed still found no sign of Clara. Thinking that she had to run out for some reason, he sat on the couch and waited, tapping his foot in unease. She wouldn't have just left without waking him. He still had a vehicle and told her he would drive her home. She wouldn't want to walk all the way there in the shoes she wore last night.

Seconds ticked by agonizingly slow. Something was wrong. Every ounce or training and experience in him was on edge, pumping under his skin until he was ready to jump out of it. Half an hour later there was a knock at the door. He answered it more quickly than any other knock before. His face fell as he saw the soldier on the other side.

The man's heels clicked together as he saluted, "Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, Brigadier General Roy Mustang requests your presence immediately."

***

The ride to headquarters helped him calm his nerves. A side effect of his military career he supposed. Traveling always soothed him.

The whole staff was gathered in Mustang's office when he arrived. In addition, two Central City Police officers stood to the side of a pudgy man wearing civilian clothes. Ed was immediately set back on edge. The man in the middle reeked of cheap cologne. His dress shirt was tucked into his pants so that his belly spilled over the waistband. Plump cheeks looked larger when coupled with the man's pinched face and beady brown eyes. A thick mustache hid his upper lip and a hat masked a thin head of hair. Mustang introduced him as Detective Nelson Holliday.

Ed took an empty seat, "What's going on?"

"Have you ever heard of the Ring of Hope?" Mustang asked, sitting casually, hands forming a steeple on his desk.

He was wasting his time asking him that question. Any alchemist worth his chalk knew that it was the first gold object transmuted before it was outlawed. "Of course! Maybe next you'll want me to define equivalent exchange."

"It was stolen last night." The detective blurted out, his voice as rough and thick as he was.

A whisper of paranoia and a ghost of understanding, like when he knew two lines were about to intersect. He tried to ignore it. "So, what does that have to do with me?"

"Because the thief was Psiren."

It felt like the detective had slapped him across the face while dumping a pile of bricks on his lap and a million other metaphors that all couldn't accurately describe the overwhelming feeling of shock, disbelief and betrayal. To put it simply, Ed's mind reeled. The detective was explaining the particulars of the case but to Ed he sounded far, far away. It had to be a mistake.

"Are you sure it was Psiren?" He finally found his voice.

"We found her calling card," one of the officers offered him an open folder, "and several guards witnessed her at the scene."

"Since you were the one who caught her last, the detective was hoping you could give him a hand." Mustang said.

"You _are_ the only one who knows what she looks like under the mask." The detective added.

There was silence as they waited for him to say something but he only stared dumbly at the card he recognized as belonging to Psiren. Then, the detective's last statement registered, "But…what about the detective in Aquroya?"

Holliday glared at Ed, clearly impatient at having to explain past case facts to someone who was supposed to already know them. "He was killed when Psiren made her escape."

Ed looked sharply to Mustang who seemed to be studying him intently. Mustang hadn't told him that part, only that she'd escaped custody. It had been hard enough dealing with the fact that Clara was a thief, but now she was a murderer. All this time, he never knew. Ed fell back in his seat.

"Ed?" Havoc had seen his eyes glaze over in shock and tried to get his attention. "Ed, what's wrong?"

"Leave us." Mustang ordered and the staff obeyed. Detective Holliday tried to protest but a stern look from the General had him leading his men out the door.

The door clicked shut and the two alchemists sat in silence. Mustang studied the younger man's slumped posture and bowed head. "What's wrong Fullmetal?" His voice was as stern as always. Ed didn't answer, Mustang continued to examine. "You know who Psiren is," he concluded with a sigh, "and I bet you even know where she's hiding."

Ed's shoulders slumped. Somehow he knew, which meant that Ed was in big trouble. "Her name is Clara."

"Just Clara?"

Ed nodded. He didn't know her last name. He never thought to ask. Just one more scoop on the pile of wrongness that his relationship was becoming. "She's the girl I've been seeing." He confessed in an almost whisper.

"We know her as 'Melissa'." Roy sighed and leaned back in his chair, the most casual he got when he was on duty and in front of Edward. "Well, this is quite the mess."

Ed stared at a spot on his shoe, he could feel the older man's eyes on him, "I know."

There was a moment of silence and then the sound of Mustang's chair scraping back as he stood, "I'll take care of it." The flame alchemist headed toward the door and Ed looked at him, surprised. "I'll tell the Detective that this is now a military investigation and my staff will get to work on this right away."

"No," Mustang stopped before he reached the door. "I want to be the one to bring her in."

Mustang's head turned to him, a smirk on his lips and Ed realized that that's exactly what he wanted to hear. "Very well. Besides, it'll be a point in your favor if you come under investigation."

Ed listened as the General went out in the hall and delivered the message. There was yelling, the detective didn't take the news well. Afterwards, Mustang re-entered, his staff filing in behind him.

"Everyone, listen up," he addressed the officers, "For the duration of this investigation, you will report to Major Elric."

***

The front door burst in and a group of soldiers entered single file. Weapons at the ready, they search every room. Edward waited out in the hall. This was all just useless protocol; he already knew she wouldn't be there.

Tiredly, he leaned against the wall and let his mind slip off. The past few hours had just been one big blur of crime scene photos and witness statements. It made his heart hurt just thinking about it so instead he tried not to as much as possible. It was an easy thing to do. It felt like he had gotten lost in a dream and accidentally stepped into a nightmare. It didn't seem real. She was just there, with him, loyal and semi-innocent in his arms…

"Sir," Havoc snapped him out of his trance, "The apartment is clean."

Ed stared at him dumbly for a moment until he remembered the here and now. Entering in the room, Ed noticed that nothing was different. It almost looked like she had just gone off to the store or something. The team watched him take in the apartment, looking both to him and Havoc for orders.

"You're dismissed," he said distractedly and barely registered Havoc's voice as he led the troops out. Nothing he saw registered though the haze of his thoughts and when he stepped he couldn't feel the ground beneath his feet.

For a while he just stood in the middle of the room. He didn't know what to even look for. Walking past the desk behind the couch, he caught sight of a postcard strategically placed on the surface. To the casual observer it looked like it had just been carelessly tossed, but Ed could tell that it had been positioned just right so that it would be the first thing he saw. It was a picture of Central City's park at night. A young couple was seated on a bench over looking the lake and in the top corner, spelled out in the stars, was the word, 'Romance.' Flipping it over, he saw that it was blank.

His hands clenched at the obvious invitation. She _had_ planned this. It didn't matter if it was recently or if she had been contemplating this for months, maybe even years. The thought made his stomach clench up into his heart and his throat dry out. Fist shaking, he tore out of the apartment, anger breaking though nearly-catatonic betrayal.

_ 'Was any of it real?'_

***

The moon was rising up into the sky as he approached the small lake located in the middle of the Central's state park. A light breeze swept through the bare branches and caused the surface of the water to shiver in a reflection of wintriness. Trees surrounded the clearing at the shore. Like the postcard, there were benches and a streetlight had even been installed as the location's popularity grew. A well worn path led to the clearing and Ed stepped off and waited at the shore.

_…"it'll be spring soon."…_

He'd had hours to hone his anger into the knife point that he'd need. Hours to ask himself why he hadn't seen this coming, and why she would do this when everything was beginning to go so well. All the smiles that had never reached her eyes, the vague assurances that she was not the criminal he had thought her to be. He had warned Al that she was bad news, why couldn't he have held on to that belief.

"I'm glad you came."

The voice was soft, barely piecing the silent night. Hard gold eyes turned to his right to see her, leaning casually against the tree like a lover. He faced Clara, not Psiren like he hoped. It would have been easier if it were Psiren; he expected it. What he didn't expect was the calm looking woman standing there.

Her tranquility began to grate on his nerves.

A breeze howled through the trees, swaying the branches to and fro with light groans. The wind tossed about the ends of their hair and flapped the edges of his long brown coat. The sound only seemed to emphasize the silence.

"Aren't you going to ask me why?" She sounded sad, as if she was the one who hurt the most in all this. It only served to piss him off more.

"No, you'd only lie anyway."

"Very well," she closed her eyes, resigned. "Shall we begin?" Her hand moved to the top button of her shirt.

_…fingers on pearly white buttons in the moonlight…_

_…staring dumbly at the exposed transmutation circle on her chest…_

He ground his teeth at the memory. "Yeah, I'll even let you have the first move."

The first four buttons on her blouse were quickly undone and the transmutation circle glowed. The surface of the lake bubbled and two streams of water charged at him. _'Same old tricks…'_ Ed thought, clapping his hands together as the water rushed at him. It was like she wasn't even trying.

The water froze in place and Clara looked shocked at his circle-less transmutation. Ed acted quickly, bringing his hands together and slamming them to the ground.

The energy snaked through the earth and up the trees, forcing the branches down and around her wrists. Arms held out, her circle began to glow again, and Ed sprung into action, clapping his hands a third time.

_ "…it's nice, having something all to myself."_

_"So, I'm yours now, am I?"_

The branches began to loosen as he ran toward her, his metal hand warming with every step. The bonds gave just as he reached out with his right hand. Clara's cry of pain was amplified by the quiet night and echoed in his head.

_… in this story there are two people, lovers actually, who come from completely different backgrounds…in the end, they can't help but betray the other._

Hot metal met flesh, destroying the circle. She fell to her knees in agony and clutched a handful of snow from a nearby drift to her chest. All Ed could do was stare down at her and resist the urge to be sick. The air was thick with the smell of burning flesh and the sound of her screams, but all he could do was stand there, istaring/i at her and what he'd done. He didn't feel justified or avenged. His stomach caught in his throat.

***

The military vehicles had surrounded the area preventing a few late night visitors from entering the scene. Their tires tore up the thin patches of snow and exposed grass, leaving ugly, muddy tracks over the once serene location.

Most of the soldiers just stood around talking to each other, pretending to be on watch. A few congratulated Ed on the capture. He merely nodded and graciously accepted the congratulations, his eyes remaining contrite as he quickly found reasons to escape any further conversation. A medical team had arrived and was treating Clara's injuries in the back of their wagon.

Ed approached the lone medic, "Could you give us a minute?" The man looked confused at his request but obeyed. "Are you going to be alright?" He asked.

Cuffed hands came up to stroke the tape holding the bandage in place. She played at securing it more firmly to her skin, anything to avoid looking him in the eyes. "Yeah. They tell me it'll scar."

He looked away. Now they were both marred; one physically, one emotionally. "I never meant to…"

"I know."

_'hurt you.' _

Their eyes never met and he waited for her to say something like _'me too'_ but it never came.

"Isn't this the part where you ask me 'why'?"

"No. It wouldn't change anything."

She knew what she had been doing. Knew that he'd find out and track her down; knew that it would hurt him. He didn't know why she had caused him this pain. He just knew that he didn't want to hear her try to rationalize it. It felt too raw to pick at right now. Bravely, he dared a look at her out of the corner of his eye.

Her face and shoulders fell, making her look nothing like the self-assured woman he had gotten to know. "I don't suppose that one day you might forgive me?"

He tilted his chin enough to make eye contact, the indecision clear on his face. Clara turned away, and he could almost see the tears forming in her eyes before he walked off.

_ 'I honestly don't know.'_

***

Alcohol was quite possible the worst tasting thing on the planet, right after milk. No matter how it was mixed, it always left a bitter taste in his mouth and made his face wrinkle in disgust. If it weren't for its inebriating qualities, he'd never touch the stuff. As it was, he felt very much like being drunk, so he sat at one of the nicer bars in central. A few empty shot glasses sat in front of him and he was distractedly peeling the label off his beer chaser.

Feeling a presence behind him, he looked up to the mirror behind the bar, meeting eyes with Mustang. "What are you doing here?" He asked, taking a drink.

Mustang rolled his eyes as Ed's face scrunched in disgust. Sitting down, he pulled the bottle away from Ed's lips as he went to take another pull.

"Hey!" He wiped a dribble of liquid off his chin and gave him a dirty look.

"You're not a drinker Ed, don't pretend to be."

Annoyed, Ed propped his hand on his head. Not looking at Roy, he drummed real fingers on the wooden countertop, knowing full well it drove the older man crazy.

If he was irritated at all, Roy didn't show it. "I ran a background check on your girlfriend." He took another drink of Ed's beer. "Clara McMartin was born in a town to the east, Samud. At thirteen, her parents were murdered in front of her. She was sent to an orphanage until she was eighteen. From then on, she had a series of jobs, all of which she was unqualified for."

If Ed tried hard enough, he could almost pretend that this was just another mission brief. Almost. "What makes you think I care about that stuff?"

Mustang was looking at him out of the corner of his eye, pinning him with 'that look.' It was the look he gave off when he knew that the information he was giving out would come in handy later. In a way, he saved Ed the trouble of asking for it when he finally figured out that he really did want to know. "I just thought that it would help you understand her self-destructive nature."

Bored gold eyes met unyielding onyx in the mirror again and Roy continued knowingly, "But I can see that you don't care." Roy stood and finished Ed's beer, setting the empty bottle down in front of him. "The real reason I came is to tell you that you have guests."

The door opened and Ed turned to see who came in, "Winry?"

She stood in the doorway of the dark pub, the sun outlining her from behind. A bare trace of a smile graced his lips, the first in days.

The General left, patting Ed's shoulder as he passed. Winry walked into the bar, eyeing the empty bottle in front of him. "If I ever meet the person who introduced you to alcohol I'm gonna kick their ass."

Havoc entered the bar right behind her in time to hear the comment. Ed saw his eyes widen and his mouth clench tightly around his cigarette before he quickly turned and left.

"What are you doing here?" He looked up at her.

"Well, we figured that if you couldn't come to us, we'd come to you. Besides, I wanted to see what that vulture in Paro did to my precious auto-mail."

Although the thought of one of Winry's check-ups and subsequent possessive fits of outrage should have made him cringe, he found himself genuinely smiling again. He was glad to see her. As scary as she could be sometimes, she was a genuinely honest and good person. Speaking of which: "Where's Al?"

"He's waiting in the car with Havoc. You know he's not old enough to enter." She took the seat next to him, sitting sideways on the barstool to regard him. "So it seems you had a little excitement on your vacation." At his surprised look, she continued, "Havoc told us everything."

"Blabbermouth," he muttered and sighed, "Is Al…mad?"

"Why would he?"

"It's just…The first time I caught her, he was upset."

"He'd not mad," She assured him, "Just concerned."

That was almost worse. He hated it when people fretted over him, especially people he knew. With Al and Winry, however, it was worse. He couldn't help but feel guilty. He never wanted them to be worried about him.

Winry sighed when he didn't say anything. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

Ed sneered at the comment and picked up the only remaining shot. Holding the glass before his lips, he mumbled, "'s not your fault."

A hand covered the rim of the glass, preventing him from throwing in back. Looking over, he noticed Winry staring at him seriously.

"Don't do this to yourself, Ed."

The glass was lowered but not set down. She removed her hand. "Do what?"

Winry sighed, "You know what I admire about you most?"

Ed's interest was piqued and the bottom of the glass touched the counter.

Winry continued, "It's that, no matter how much bad you see, you don't let it ruin who you are. You're a good person and it can't touch you. Don't let this be the one that changes that."

Looking off in the distance, he let her words sink in. "I know, and I'll be fine." He assured her, then added under his breath, "geesh, I just wanted to have a drink."

Winry didn't react to the last comment and Ed resumed peeling his bottle. He just wanted to forget about the whole thing and move on. As if sensing his thoughts, Winry hopped off the barstool, face breaking out into an eye squinting smile. "Well, what do you say we get out of this dreary place and go out someplace where your brother can join us?"

He perked up, "That sounds nice."

He wasn't lying when he said that he'd be fine, but he knew that he wouldn't feel okay for some time, that the fall out from this would not be swept away by apologies and warm hugs. But for now, this moment was prefect. Removing a few bills, he threw them down and walked out to the sunshine and his brother, his dearest friend by his side.

* * *

-FIN Part 1

* * *

B on Part 2: Please don't throw your tomatoes before I get a chance to explain! I knew that this was going to happen since the first chapter. I don't think I could have stood doing a happy, happy, multi-chapter romance fic in three parts. Clara's actions are the catalyst for the rest of the series and I tried to make it as surprising as possible, even though there was foreshadowing, so that you could see how Ed felt. I am looking forward to hearing what you guys think.

B's update on Part 2: As of this stories posting date, I have scrapped and rewritten part 2 at least four times and it never comes out right. As I said above, this was intended to be a trilogy about Ed exploring relationships. Clara was supposed to make an appearance in part 2 but the entire trilogy wasn't supposed to be EdxClara. For right now, let's just leave this as a stand-alone story and don't get your hopes up for part 2 or 3. Of course that could change. I could be inspired by reviews or something. So please, share your thoughts on this story and maybe any ideas on where to go from here. God know I could use the help. (See author page for more info.)


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